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January 23, 2011

RE: PLEASE READ.... IT'S DAMIAN... :)

hey damian...  i'm not sure i'm ready to give you my real name.  see i have to know we're compatible, that i want to e-mail you, talk on the phone, meet for drinks and ultimately have dinner before i exchange names, and really, i don't want to do any of those things with you.

first, let me point out the absurdity of you giving me the e-mail address.  if i just hit "respond" to your message, that's the e-mail address that my message will go to... you haven't figured that one out?  hmmmm....

now i'm sorry about this, but i really have to point out that you claim  your ethnicity is "belize en."  what the heck is that?  i mean i get that you're from belize.  but people from belize are commonly referred to as "belizean."  are you sure that's your ethnicity - you don't even know how to spell it!

now you're 37, looking for a girl between the ages of 18 - 45, you just finished a 5 year "internship" (i mean i had an internship when i was 19 in college but it lasted 1 semester, your internship started when you were 32?  and lasted 5 years?  huh?) and now you have a full time job in some track & field capacity which i couldn't quite figure out because you said, "i have a full time job and i'm a part time student and have track & field on a professional level."  i know my sentence was a run-on sentence, but i don't think your sentence makes sense.

you also say you like, "deep conversation so i can get to know the intellectual side & the frisky side of woman."  i didn't really know that deep conversation allowed one to learn about the friskiness of another.  see i thought friskiness was sort of explored during your first kiss.  but i could be dead wrong.  maybe that's why i'm single.  perhaps i should start getting into deep conversations about friskiness.  maybe that's the key to a happy relationship.

now damian, this is pretty offensive:  "women that have had a recent break up will cause for a boring date & make you less attractive to me. please be open with the time being spent on the date. my time is limited, so i want my time spent with you to be worth it." that right there makes you a little bit fugly to me.  i think  everyone's time is probably equally important and / or limited.  so to make yours stand out as more important is kind of egotistical.

and lastly, did you not look at my pictures before writing to me?  i'm pretty small.  i would call myself petite, and maybe even a little on the thin side.  so i'm confused that you wrote me considering you said, "i'm looking for a girl a little on the thick side."  that really isn't me.

oh, there are so many other things i could address: your favorite book is "the secret," your girl has to workout "hardcore"....  i mean there are so many ways in which we just aren't compatible.  but i think you get the picture.

however damian, i know there's a girl out there for you.  i just know it in my heart.  keep on "winking" (just because i don't like them doesn't mean other women don't) and you'll "wink" your way into some thick heart.

kisses.

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